Ah, menopause. That tumultuous season of life where my body decides to throw me a curveball, spinning me into a whirlwind of emotions, physical changes, and, let’s face it, a fair bit of drama. Who knew that the same woman who could orchestrate an opulent lifestyle with the finesse of a maestro could be brought to her knees by… hormones? But here I am, living between the vibrant cultures of Asia and the timeless elegance of Europe, finding myself pondering the unthinkable: divorce. Yes, you heard me right. But before we dive into that, let’s talk about why this is a conversation worth having.
Moving to Asia this is my work office. Why would I do this in my fifties? Creative shedding my friends. I met a lady last week eighty-five years old serving the children in Laos. What is my excuse for giving up on life?
A Cocktail of Resentment and Astonishment
Imagine this: I’m lounging in my impeccably decorated living room, adorned with treasures from my travels, when my husband decides to “update” my computer. A trivial act, you might think. Yet, it unleashes a torrent of resentment dating back 25 years. Ridiculous, isn’t it? It’s as though my mind has become a treasure chest of grievances, and menopause is the key that’s unlocked it all. I’ve spoken to countless women sailing the same rocky seas, all wondering why they suddenly yearn for solitude amidst their beautiful chaos.
Why do we yearn to be alone, drowning in a sea of stiffness, pain, and sorrow, our once vibrant sex drives now as elusive as a mirage? Our children, those reminders of our youth, now only deepen the sting of our bulging bellies and lost figures. And amidst this storm, the idea of divorce flits through our minds like a persistent moth to a flame.
Guilt, Shame, and the Gold Gun Scenario
It’s not just about the irritations or the physical changes; it’s the guilt and shame over what I’ve labeled “overreactions.” Picture Griselda from that Netflix show, brandishing a gold gun and firing at a classic car. That’s my mind on a bad day, lost in a dark place I never knew existed. But let’s pause here. How many stories have we heard of women who’ve divorced during menopause, only to live in regret? How many husbands stand by, bewildered, as the women they love transform before their eyes?
Sanctuary in Solitude and the Joys of Living
Despite the chaos, I’ve found solace in my moments of solitude. A drive along the Koh Samui sea or a swim in its embracing waters can sometimes be all it takes to cool the flames. I mourn the ambitions that slipped through my fingers in my forties, believing menopause had robbed me of my future. Yet, here I am, a testament to the fact that it’s never too late. Travel has become my therapy, my muse. Discovering handwoven crafts in Laos with women who share my plight, yet live worlds apart, has been eye-opening.
Why, then, would I consider discarding my partner of twenty-five years, my companion through this journey? The very thought now seems as absurd as wanting to reenact Griselda’s dramatic escapades.
Meeting women like Carol Cassidy who lives in Laos serving other women helps me put my anger and life into perspective. I call this creative shedding.
Embracing Life, Love, and Luxury
So, my top tips for navigating these turbulent waters? Steer clear of the real-life dramas of Escobars and female drug lords. Instead, fill your sails with the winds of motivation from speakers like Steve Bartlett. Indulge in self-care with swimming, massages, and the therapeutic luxury of writing. Whether it’s reviewing the Four Seasons or simply jotting down thoughts, find your peace.
If your means allow, seek sanctuary in a second home. A place where you can retreat, reflect, and rejuvenate. And amidst the trials, do not deny yourself or your partner the intimacy you both deserve. Coconut oil, ladies – it’s not just for cooking.
The body’s response to emotional stress is a fascinating and complex phenomenon, deeply intertwined with our physical health. It’s not uncommon to hear stories of how emotional turmoil can manifest in physical ailments, and your experience with a bladder infection after such a long hiatus is a poignant example of this connection. The sudden reappearance of this infection after 15 years can indeed be perplexing, yet it provides a profound insight into the intricate dance between the mind and the body. I love telling stories of my travel journey like here in Hoi An, Vietnam.
The Emotional and Physical Connection
Emotions like regret, anger, and unforgiveness are powerful forces that can have a tangible impact on our physical well-being. These feelings create a state of chronic stress in the body, activating the “fight or flight” response which, over time, can compromise the immune system. This weakened state makes the body more susceptible to infections, including those of the bladder. The timing of your bladder infection amidst these swirling emotions is likely not coincidental but rather a reflection of the body’s reaction to internal emotional turmoil.
Why Now? Understanding the Trigger
The question of “why now?” can be addressed by looking at the cumulative effect of prolonged emotional stress on the body. Over years, the body might manage to keep the physical manifestations of these emotions at bay. However, there comes a tipping point when the body can no longer compensate, leading to physical symptoms. Menopause itself is a significant life transition that can amplify emotional vulnerabilities, making previously manageable feelings more pronounced and their physical manifestations more likely.
The Path to Healing: Mind and Body
Addressing the root of these emotions is crucial for both mental and physical healing. Practices that promote emotional release and forgiveness can be incredibly therapeutic and may help alleviate some of the physical symptoms you’re experiencing:
- Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become more aware of your emotions and their triggers, allowing you to approach them with compassion and understanding rather than judgment and resistance.
- Therapy or Counseling: Speaking with a professional can provide you with strategies to process and release feelings of regret, anger, and unforgiveness.
- Physical Activity: Regular exercise can help reduce stress and improve your physical health, potentially mitigating the risk of infections.
- Nutrition: A balanced diet supports overall health, including the immune system, which is crucial in fighting off infections.
It’s also important to seek medical advice for your bladder infection and any other physical symptoms you’re experiencing. A healthcare professional can provide treatment for the immediate issue while you work on the emotional aspects contributing to your health. Family support during this time is important the best coffee money can by.
Integrating Emotional Health Into Overall Well-being
Your experience underscores the importance of integrating emotional health into our understanding of overall well-being. The body does, indeed, keep score, reflecting our emotional states in ways we might not anticipate. By acknowledging and addressing these emotional undercurrents, we embark on a holistic path to health that encompasses both the mind and the body, aiming for a state of harmony and well-being that transcends the physical symptoms to touch the soul’s depths. I bought this traditional coat handwoven by the women of Laos. As a reminder that my hardship is valid but theirs more so. The lady who sells and set up her chilli market at over eighty is why I grateful for my life.
I am a Christian all my life and pray daily no matter where I am. And respect others in their quest for God. That my confidence is pushing through this hell.
The Verdict on Divorce
As for divorce? It’s a guest that’s no longer welcome in my home. These twenty-five years are worth every effort, every tear, and every laugh. The idea of divorce, once a constant visitor to my thoughts, now seems like a distant memory. Menopause may be a formidable opponent, but it’s one I’m determined to face with my partner by my side. Let’s leave the shame and guilt at the door, forgiving ourselves and living each day with the passion and zeal we’re known for. After all, tomorrow is a gift, not a guarantee.
So, to my fellow women navigating the choppy waters of menopause, remember this: divorce may seem like an escape, but it’s often a path to regret. Embrace the journey, with all its ups and downs, and you might just find that this storm, too, shall pass, leaving behind a rainbow of experiences richer and more vibrant than ever before.