For the first time in 27 years, you both forgot your wedding anniversary.
Not just you. Not just your partner. Both of you.
And to make it worse, someone else had to point it out.
It stings. It feels a bit sad. Maybe a bit funny. Maybe a bit “oh my God, are we turning into that couple?”
Here’s the truth: forgetting an anniversary after nearly three decades together doesn’t mean your marriage is broken. It usually means your life is full. You’re juggling kids, work, money, ageing parents, health, travel, daily stress. The love is there — the calendar just slipped.
What matters now isn’t that you forgot.
It’s what you choose to do next.
1. Drop the drama, keep the humour
First, breathe. This is not a catastrophe.
You’ve made it 27 years. You’ve survived fights, moves, illnesses, arguments about money, kids, in-laws, and who left the towel on the floor. Forgetting one date doesn’t erase any of that.
Instead of going into blame mode:
- Laugh about it together.
“So we’ve officially reached the ‘we need a PA for our marriage’ stage.” - Acknowledge the sting, but don’t weaponise it.
You can say, “I feel a bit sad we both forgot, but also… it kind of proves we’re in the same boat.”
Humour diffuses shame. And shame is usually what’s really hurting in moments like this — not the missed date itself.
2. Turn the missed day into an “anniversary weekend” (or week)
Who decided celebrations must only happen on one perfect day?
If you forgot the actual date, reclaim the story:
- Declare a “make-up anniversary weekend” or even an “anniversary week”.
That way it feels like you’ve extended the celebration, not missed it. - You can even say, “27 years deserves more than just one day. Clearly, we’re just levelling up.”
This reframing is powerful. Instead of feeling like you failed, you’re now choosing to celebrate on your own terms.
3. Do something special – not just something expensive
Don’t pressure yourselves into a huge, Instagram-perfect moment. Think intention, not perfection.
Some simple but meaningful ways to make it up:
Go out for dinner – but make it different
- Pick a restaurant you’ve never tried before.
- Or go back to one that reminds you of an early phase of your relationship.
- Ban phones from the table. No scrolling. This time, you’re present.
Before you eat, you can do one tiny ritual:
- Each of you shares one favourite memory from your marriage
and one thing you’re grateful for in the other person right now.
It’s small, but it brings the focus back to why you’re celebrating.
Cake, always cake
It doesn’t matter if it’s a fancy bakery cake or something from the local supermarket – cake is a symbol of celebration.
- Write something silly on it:
“To 27 years (and one forgotten date)”
or
“Better late than never – Happy Anniversary!”
Humour + sugar = emotional reset.
4. Use your location – swim, stay, slow down
If you’re in Koh Samui or somewhere equally beautiful, use it.
One of the best ways to reconnect is to change your environment, even just for 24 hours.
Book a hotel night or a staycation
- Pick a small boutique hotel or beach resort for one night.
- Treat it like a mini “honeymoon reboot”, even if it’s just down the road.
- No chores, no laundry, no dishes. Just the two of you.
Swim together
There’s something very cleansing about water:
- Swim in the sea at sunset or sunrise.
- Float next to each other in the pool doing absolutely nothing.
- Let your bodies relax — often the heart opens when the nervous system calms down.
Sometimes the best apology is not a speech, but shared silence in warm water under an open sky.
5. Clothes, small gifts, and wearable memories
You don’t have to buy each other something huge or extravagant. Think of one small item that will remind you of this “perfectly imperfect” anniversary.
Ideas:
- A dress, shirt, or sarong bought on this make-up celebration.
- Matching T-shirts or something playful you’d both actually wear.
- A piece of jewellery or an accessory that says, “27 years and still here.”
Every time you wear it, you’ll remember not, “We forgot,” but
“We chose to show up again.”
After so many years together, it’s easy to assume your partner just knows how you feel.
They don’t. Not always.
Use this moment to speak gratitude out loud:
You can keep it simple:
- “Thank you for still choosing me after 27 years.”
- “Thank you for all the times you’ve stayed, even when it was hard.”
- “I know we forgot the date, but I haven’t forgotten what we’ve built.”
If it feels awkward, say that too:
- “This feels a bit cheesy, but I want you to hear it from me.”
Awkward gratitude is still gratitude. And it lands more deeply than a perfectly polished speech.
7. Create a tiny new ritual for the future
Forgetting once can actually be useful — it shows you where life is on autopilot and where you might want a bit more intention.
Instead of just relying on memory:
- Put your anniversary into both your phones with reminders a week before and on the day.
- Add a little note to the reminder like:
“Book dinner,” “Plan a beach day,” or “Organise something silly.”
You can also invent a new tradition:
- Every year you do one new thing together you’ve never done before – new restaurant, new beach, new activity.
- Or every anniversary you write each other a short note and keep them in a box.
This gives you both something to look forward to, and turns the date from pressure into a ritual.
8. Be honest about why it happened – without guilt
Sometimes you forget because you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally exhausted.
Use this slip as a gentle check-in:
- Are you both overloaded with responsibilities?
- Has stress taken over space that used to belong to your relationship?
- Do you need more downtime together, not just task-sharing?
You don’t have to turn it into a heavy therapy session. But you can ask:
“If we forgot something this important, what else are we rushing past?”
That question, asked with kindness, can be more intimate than any perfect celebration.
9. Remember what actually matters
You didn’t forget because you don’t love each other.
You forgot because you’re human.
What matters most is not the flawless memory of dates, but:
- The way you speak to each other when things go wrong.
- The willingness to repair, not resent.
- The choice to keep showing up — with cake, with swims, with laughter, with honest words.
A forgotten anniversary can become just another cute story:
“Do you remember our 27th? We totally forgot, then ended up eating cake in bed and swimming the next day like teenagers.”
That’s the real romance: not perfection, but persistence.
So go out.
Book that dinner. Buy the cake. Pick up something to wear. Swim in the sea or the pool. Book a night in a hotel, even close to home.
Most of all, look at each other and say:
“We may forget the date, but we do not forget us.”
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