Who are you calling an ESFP?
Knowing this at 15 would change your life, but now is better than never!
Have you ever found yourself set ablaze by the sensation of that pristine Italian leather, that luxury bespoke coat, or the divine taste of chocolate melting over your taste buds? Do you go out of your way to be the center of attention just because it feels good?
Do you have a deep need, an irresistible urge to be acknowledged through being seen?
Then you find yourself in good company, in the company of opulence and luxury and fabulosity!
However, it’s rarely that easy.
Being Misunderstood
Do you find that people just don’t ‘get’ you? That you are often accused of being egotistical and vain? Do people openly judge you as a person and your way of expressing yourself?
Society tells us to work hard, follow the opinions of experts, and don’t rock the boat! When you think outside the box organisations will bully and try and discredit your reputation.
This year 2020 has shown us that this approach doesn’t always make sense. The same is true for us as individuals.
Some people are born to be the rockers of the boat, they just can’t help it. Problems arise when these boat-rockers don’t understand who they are after a lifetime of being told to ‘shut up and sit down!’
Hear that often enough, and you’ll begin to believe that your natural personality is ‘bad and wrong’.
Knowing Your Personality Type
What Is Personality, and why does knowing your personality type matter?
As the ancient Greeks saw it, our persona is the mask we wear to interface with the world beneath which we hide our true selves; getting to know and understand that person underneath requires some investigative research.
This is where the MBTI personality test helps by creating an effective shortcut to get beneath the mask, and usually, most people recognize their type fairly easily as it’s what and whom you know best after all! Where knowing your MBTI type becomes really powerful is in understanding how it can help you live a better, more fulfilled, and harmonious life.
When they say you are ‘bad and wrong’
Many of us have had the sad experience of being rejected for being ourselves, or that’s how we see it but the deeper truth is that we all view others through our own tinted lenses. What do I mean?
Well, suppose I am someone who primarily understands the world through its ‘thingness.’ In that case, through the reality and solidity of external objects and facts, I might find the ideas and opinions of a more intuitive, internally driven person to be unrealistic and silly.
Since there are 16 personalities in this system, and each of these has many, many variations within them well, you can easily see how much room for misunderstanding there is in the world.
Sometimes when you want something bad enough, you’ll kick open any door that you find in front of you, never stopping to question your methods. Obviously, this approach can really backfire because not everyone appreciates having their space invaded!
Offending Others
I was recently chatting with Gracie Opulanza and introduced her to the concept of personality types, specifically the MBTI types, which led to a conversation about rejection, misunderstanding, and conflict.
Why is it that we sometimes experience these reactions when we are dealing with other people?
The easy answer is to say that they are the problem, they don’t understand!
Well, the deeper truth is that you don’t understand yourself! Let me explain.
Each type has its strengths and weakness and both of these may be sources of problems! Surprising as it may be, sometimes our strengths can stop us from seeing the world fully, and even worse, we can bulldoze over other people’s feelings and ideas. However, no personality is wrong or flawed. It’s all dependent on how we engage with the world and the maturity we show in our relations with others.
All the types have something special to contribute to the world, but only once they understand their own needs and how these needs drive their wants or perhaps sabotage their ability to be effective in society and in their own lives
What Is The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?
The MBTI is a series of questions designed to reveal which one of the 16 pre-defined types you might be based on your answers to a series of questions. These 16 personalities are defined through the groundbreaking earlier work of psychologist Carl Jung and begin with establishing extroversion or introversion, neither of which mean what you think they mean!
Essentially the MBTI personality test is used to understand how you view and interact with the world and yourself. This is helpful because it allows you to more easily achieve your goals in the world and to understand the motives and desires of others, which all leads to greater success and happiness.
How?
By helping you gain insight into why you are driven to do certain things and how to use these drives more effectively to get what you want.
ESFP The Entertainer Personality Type
When you want the world to watch but they tell you to sit down.
The ESFP is an entertainer, perhaps the best entertainer of them all because they love the physical world and they want to experience it all, oh and they want you to watch them do it; your applause is also appreciated!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this sentiment. We all want to be acknowledged and appreciated for who we are, as we are, and some of us are driven to inspire and delight the world through performing for an audience; this is the ESFP. Some of the special traits of the ESFP are:
- You love and live in the Sensory world: you are in the Now.
- You live and breathe the emotion of others and feed your world with the human connection.
- You have an eye for trends and fashion, obviously!
During the lockdown, Gracie wore her own lockdown style to inspire others not to become sloppy during 2020.
Self-Promoter Versus A Fabulous Diva?
ESFP Personality Type is shameless.
What makes someone a self-promoter? Fundamentally it applies to a person who is not offering anything of value to others. A person who demands to be the center of attention, to be lauded and praised without giving back anything of value to the ‘audience’, whomever that may be.
The audience may be a single person you’re speaking to, not with, there’s a huge difference between them!
The audience might be your family and friends to whom you don’t give enough attention, or the audience may be people and organizations that you want something from just because you’re you.
Basically, a self-promoter is a selfish person, and nobody wants to help them because no-one enjoys being used. I know, rather brutal but true.
Fabulous Diva
A fabulous diva on the other hand gives generously to the world by encouraging others to see life as a glorious opportunity to play dress-ups! Life will always have its ups and downs, but the diva shows us how to make this life our own, to find and express our unique beauty and joy.
Many self-promoters call themselves divas, but what truly marks the difference is the motive behind the attention-seeking: is it one of desperation to be noticed?
Or is it a desire to encourage others to express themselves authentically by being a fabulous exemplar?
An unaware ESFP may exhibit more self-promoter traits because they don’t know how else to fill their need for validation. This is why knowing your MBTI type is so important as it will help you to turn the selfishness into the beautiful expression of your unique self. The one you’ve always been chasing, the one the world is waiting to see and applaud.
Understand Your Personality Type
I recommend that you learn about your type by first taking an economics test. A popular site is 16 Personalities which will give you a simple place to begin, mind you the results are not always exact, but it’s free! A good starting point, but a fun starting point is on the YouTube channels Love Who and Frank James both of whom put out funny and informative videos weekly.
As you begin the journey into understanding the different personality types, you will also start to realize that there are people who experience the world very differently from you, shock, I know!
By understanding the personality types of the people closest to you, life will begin to get better.
Gracie is wearing a red cape as the opulent lifestyle entertainer made for her. She explained to the designer to create a cape she could wear and represent her animated personality.
Never Give Up
Because, now you will understand how to communicate effectively to get what you want, which is attention, praise, and fun!
Let us know what your unique struggles have been on your journey to becoming a fabulous diva, and share your successes too of course!
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