So you’re ready to propose. Congratulations. You’re about to enter one of the most exciting, heart thumping chapters of life before you drop to one knee and deliver the most important question that you’ll ever ask. You’ve likely already googled the best places to buy diamond rings and daydreamed about the moment your partner says ‘yes’. But there’s a bit more prep work involved if you want your proposal to go smoothly and avoid any sitcom style disasters. This might sound obvious, but it’s stunning how many people don’t realise they are not on the same page with their partner before they ask that question.

There are many people out there who propose without ever asking about marriage. You don’t need a formal ‘so, shall we get married?’ conversation. But it’s good to know your partner actually wants marriage eventually and not, say, when they’re 90. Chat about the future, confirm they’re not secretly planning to move to a remote island to find themselves. Clarity is key.

Speaking of clarity, you need to know about their ring preferences.Your partner might love pear shaped diamonds and rose gold, or they might gag at the thought you need Intel. You could compliment their jewellery and listen closely to how they respond, and you could browse jewellery websites together for fun. You could even recruit their best friend, the safest strategy, because they always know. Under any circumstances, however, do not ask directly unless you want your surprise spoiled. Once you’ve got your ring in your pocket, you can start sorting out the logistics.

A proposal is not just emotional, it’s logistical. Knowing where you’re going to do it, when you’ll do it, and how you’ll manage the ring without dropping it down a storm drain is important. You need to choose a location that’s meaningful and easy to access. Nothing kills the romance faster than being stuck in traffic for 40 minutes on the way to your own proposal. You also need to make sure that while you’ve prepared, you don’t go too much. You don’t need Shakespearean monologues, you just need a few heartfelt sentences. Think about why you love them, what they bring to your life, and why you want to build a future together.

This is especially important if it’s not your first time getting married. You need to tell the right people, and it doesn’t mean announcing it to the world. Just tell a few people who matter. Some families appreciate being told beforehand out of tradition, and close friends love being in on the secret, especially if they’ll help with the logistics of the proposal.

A thoughtful proposal is not about extravagance, it’s about intention. Prepare the practical bits, plan with your partner’s personality in mind, and go into the moment with genuine love and genuine confidence. Once you get those steps right, the guess will be the easiest part and you can come away floating on air.