Last week it took a family member to remind me that in July I am turning fifty. I was in disbelief, where did my 49th go? Lockdown has impacted me in many ways. I was on a private estate for nine months in Tuscany and I lost track of time. I am not bothered about turning fifty at all.
I have a strong personality, got no issues when it comes to body confidence or having cellulite. What I do have a massive frustration issue with. Is the media comparing us, women, to the likes of Jennifer Lopez or Naomi Campbell having a baby at fifty? The only item I want around my waist is my lioness belt.
Me today In Venice, almost 50!
How on earth could any of these women be inspiring to me? They have the millions to look like they do and get paid for it as well. They have access to the best world cosmetics, wellness, babysitters, chef’s, cars, homes, fashion, food and education for their children.
They were born with natural beauty. Which I am not!
Look at the state of my hair, above. Imagine getting your hair done every day! I would look better for it. This is me below, just had my hair cut, colour and blow-dried.
Naomi Campbell Mum At Fifty
I could not think of anything less inspiring than having a baby at fifty. Of course, she can do it. She has everything money can buy to make sure she is well pampered both as a mother and child. Her birthplace certainly would not have been a public hospital pushing out a baby during a pandemic. A massive added stress to new mum’s around the globe. For the majority of mum’s let alone turning fifty, we don’t get paid to be a mum, no furlough or have no money at all. No job opportunities, let alone cash to get our hair done.
Me posing in my own way not getting paid for it.
Is that the reality of a celebrity? Is Naomi an inspiring mum to be at fifty? A supermodel who is still well paid and looks like she is still 30. Is that the reality for me and you turning fifty?
How many personal trainers and a home gym kit to get her back into that modelling shape. It took me one year to get back into shape after my first child.
My Reality At Fifty
My reality is saggy breasts, bulging tummy, non-stop homeschooling, non-stop cooking and no home. I am living a digital nomad life. I sold all my belongings. I am at the mercy of crappy landlords. I am self-employed with no support from any furlough scheme. Every earning penny is down to me. This is tough going and a lot of pressure to earn more which is not easy.
Every time my girls ask for an item to buy. Me saying no to my children who are now teenagers hurts. My kids are far from spoilt. Thank God they are not demanding and wanting to keep up with the latest fashion trends. But it still hurts that I can’t afford to give them what they want.
My reality financially is better off than most and I still feel the pressure. The life my kids live is far richer than my childhood. They have been around world many times and the experiences as a child is very rare for most children.
Jenny From The Block Versus Me
She looks amazing, works hard, does not need a man in her life. Plenty of cash and has access to the best exercise regime in the world. Her God-given beauty and talent are why she is filthy rich. Not my reality. I am very average looking and have often lost out on fashion and blogging opportunities due to my looks. I have short legs and hair that won’t grow.
I have a big nose, I look like my dad and have massive hands for a woman. I am loud, bold and very opinionated. I have no fitness at all. This does not go down well amongst men. I don’t get the paycheque I deserve, which is really soul-destroying. I am always being told I have a great idea, but not being paid my worth.
That is also amongst the big rich companies I pitch to as well.
I feel worthless in my blogging and not being paid for my skills.
It is very soul-destroying and it’s why I am left at fifty feeling sad, frustrated and worthless. Blogging is a hard slog. I do wonder why I continue it?
But deep down after ten years, God keeps telling me not to give up.
Hope is in the faith I can’t see, let alone that paycheque.
My blogging opportunities are priceless and I do get paid in products, experiences and have access to events like a VIP guest. I o make an income but far from what I want to be. I have been slogging on this for ten years.
I use to be very slim and had perky breasts. My breasts were my best asset. Thanks to two breastfeeding kids my boobs sit very low. My husband wants me to get a nip and tuck. The reality is I can’t afford one and don’t give the care to go under the knife to please him for it. My weight is up and down and that is due to menopause and turning fifty. I have not shown massive signs or symptoms of menopause but I am always frustrated and impatient.
The reality is I don’t have cellulite and my legs look great for fifty. Overall, people think I look forty. Body confidence is not my issue.
Being patient and homeschooling parent is tough.
I live with the guilt that I can and should do better as a man. My reality is my girls are very easygoing. They are fabulous kids.
Having A Kid At Fifty
I had my first child at 36. I was already told and put in the category of a high-risk pregnancy mum. I was thin, fit and had plenty of cash to get the care I needed. I end up having two children both caesarian. Very harsh on the body, I never feel the same as I was before. Cutting through body tissue getting babies out is not natural nor good for the body.
Avoid it if you can. Have the baby naturally the body will recover quicker. It took me over a year to feel better.
Having kids in your twenties and I have witnessed this is a walk in the park compared to mum’s in their late forties let alone at fifty. This lie about men can have kids older can not be compared to a woman. Men don’t carry the child, let alone have the health risks as an older mum to be.
Regarding energy, running after a toddler when they begin to walk at fifty is my worse nightmare. I am fit but aching every time I walk a few kilometres. I sleep much more than I did in my twenties. My patience and mood swings are at an all-time high. I have no desire, wanting to be a mum again in my fifties. The reality is harsh and would be the worse nightmare for me to have a baby at fifty.
Noticed I said nightmare.
I am not the normal mum, doting after my girls. I often need a two-week break from my family. This has not happened since March 2020 and I am so frustrated and angry at life. So many missed opportunities in the last year. I know I am not alone in this. I am getting moodier at my husband to the point I can’t stand him anymore. I need a break so much, that in July when I turn fifty I want to be on my own.
Me reviewing an Aston Martin DB11, my last car review was in the UK in March 2020.
My living reality in the last year has been living in paradise and now Venice. What about those mum’s who have to work, live in a tiny flat and can’t even afford a glass of wine. This is not my reality.
Where I lived during the lockdown for the last nine months. I was surrounded by endless amounts of nature.
No Your Limits
Why are the media and the likes of celebrities encouraging women to have a child at fifty? When that child is twenty, you as a mum will be seventy. Will you even be around to see them get married? What is your health going to be like? Will you be alive to be a grandparent? What happens to your own dreams, goals and holiday dreams? Having a baby at fifty has many health implications both on the body and mind. Kids are expensive to run. They require so much mental energy.
I want to put energy in my ids for their future whilst I am fit!
Our media and social media is all about selling a lifestyle that on average and even more so thanks to Covid 19 will never be in reach for many women. The body image pressure, the fashion, cars, homes and diamond rings. That on average will never be in girls reach. During this pandemic, the rich got richer. But the harsh reality is the middle class just got poorer. Our work opportunities are much less and what work there is. It’s horrible and our reality is we are going to work a lot harder for less cash and lifestyle.
Kids are expensive and the pressure at fifty or any age has escalated. Clothes got cheap but food, electricity bills, healthcare, heating is going to get so much more expensive.
Poverty amongst the middle class has never looked so bleak thanks to this pandemic, Mental health, health, in general, is at its all-time worse. Wearing masks, both indoor and out is not good for anyone. Home repossession is at its all-time high and we have not seen anything yet.
Poverty For Middle Class Is A Reality
I don’t understand why homes have got more expensive when the world has lost its average income. Who can afford a home right now? Who can afford to pay rent on large properties right now? Celebrities can and have massive luxury homes. Is that my reality at fifty? Certainly not for me.
We are being lured into a false sense of economics. Having children at any age is tough on the middle class and the wallet.
The reality is I don’t look at celebrities as inspirations. Did they inspire me in lockdown? How did their behaviour motivate me to live their lifestyle? How did celebrity women give me guidance when homeschooling? Can I afford to live a celebrity lifestyle on my current income?
Did Namoi share her pregnancy experience with the world, no she did not? Why did she not share the best experience as a mum to be with anyone? Was she ashamed of being criticised as a mum at fifty? Is she the role model a mum to be at fifty are needing during a pandemic?
I thank God that the last role models I have ever look up to let alone follow are NOT celebrity women. Celebrities make me feel depressed and have a lifestyle I know I can never ever afford.
Celebrities make me feel envious, jealous and a failure as a woman, mum and a human being.
If you have the cash to have a child at fifty go for it. I rather spend the cash on pampering myself and be fulfilled in that way. Or babysit mum’s who need a break. I can hand the babies back!
Kids are for life, you can’t sell them on eBay or Amazon.
My Celebrities I Am Inspired By
The way I dress has never been in trend let alone acting my age. I am turning fifty. I have been self-employed for over twenty years, run successful businesses and travelled the world many times. I live and promote the world of luxury through my access, thanks to my blogs.
I create and live my own reality and don’t dream too big to fail. Who inspired me to live this lifestyle? It all came down to the childhood I did not live. I came from hard-working Italian family background. My mum and dad were and are my celebrities. They worked like dogs, got racially abused and lived the best life they could.
They just simply got on with it. Like a rose, they succeeded and were proud of what they achieved.
How to dress at fifty all comes down to how you feel. It is culturally influenced and if you have body confidence then wear what the hell you like. It’s all in the art of layering for a lot of women. For me, it is all about choosing niche items that make me stand out even more.
I am more confident than ever, I know what I want in life regarding lifestyle. How I get there is a great question. I am two months off fifty and survived covid.
Don’t let age get in the way of your dreams and for goodness sake stop following the celebrities. They live in another world and very disconnected from reality, take a look at their personal relationships that speaks volumes.